Watching the tour was… surreal. The house has changed completely from its original appearance. Beds and furniture are rearranged, shower curtains replaced, color-coordinated bedding chosen to be a model for what your new home could look like. But this was my home.
Except, now it's not anymore. That much is very clear to me. Even if the house does not sell by the time I return stateside, I would not be able to go back to the house to crash there. It wouldn't feel right. I said goodbye to my home at the end of January, and this tour affirms that my home as I once knew it is gone.
I have, for the most part, made peace with the fact that I'm homeless. I had the benefit of Ted to assist me with the process of saying goodbye during that last week in Portland before hitting the road. I'm glad, because otherwise I'd be deeply unsettled by this virtual tour. As it is, I'm mostly struck with awe at how much a home can look utterly different, even when much of the furniture is the same, by removing all the clutter and moving stuff around.